3-08: Do You Know Where You're Going To? FINALE

Welcome to the finale episode of the fictional third season of Noah's Arc. This journey has been amazing. The wonderful feedback, love, and friendships have made the process of creativity all the more rewarding. Word came down to me that the Notorious P.I.P. tweeted about the blog and said that he liked it and enjoyed reading it. Beautiful! I never imagined I could do justice to this series in text, but I think my efforts are not in vain. There was an influx of traffic within a few days, and weeks later you all kept coming back. Thank you. My biggest fear was that you guys wouldn't connect with the direct, dialogue-driven format that I chose to write in. I wanted to go for very action-oriented episodes to give them a visual feel. It didn't seem a problem, so I'm wiping my brow on that. Stay tuned for a post about the writing of these episodes and how I ended up with a different outcome than I had planned (ha, planned?). They took on a life of their own. This episode is 22 pages long, and almost 5000 words. After you finish reading this episode, there is only one conclusion: I will be back. That is if you'll have me. -NAFF

Time to Talk
On a lazy Friday afternoon, Ricky lounges on his sofa, watching Mahogany. Every blind is closed, blocking out the sunlight. Cartons of Ben & Jerry’s lay scattered around him. The urgent red light blinking on his vintage answering machine and the soft blue glow from the television are the only lights he allows in the stuffy room. He ignores the loud buzzer, and turns up the volume on the television. “Do You Know Where You’re Going To?” instrumental blasts off the walls of his apartment as he watches a montage of Diana Ross becoming a model. Feathers, hats, eyelashes, cheekbones, and 70’s glamour all flash in quick cuts on his plasma screen.


“Go away!” yells Ricky. He turns the volume up even louder.

Alex had broke the news to him last night--when he had popped over to bring Ricky a pan of peach cobbler, a plate of turnip and mustard greens, cornbread, fried porkchops, and sliced onions and tomatoes. “Do I got to force everybody to eat these days?” Alex had asked. He’d stood watch over Ricky and threatened to bash him upside his head if he picked over those greens one more time. “If you knew like me, you’d toss that fork and mash that bread on in with them greens and call it a night, gir.” Sometime during the evening, he’d told Ricky that he had “rescued” Noah from a hotel room, and that Wade and Noah were back together. Ricky didn’t hear much after that. He thought he heard him mention an award ceremony Saturday night, but the way his head was pounding and his blood boiling, he could have heard anything. He assured Alex he would be fine, and that he was happy Noah was okay. But as soon as Alex left, he collapsed to the floor by his front door, and he laid there until morning. He woke up with a crying headache and his back hurting in ten different spots. He didn’t bother to shower or shave or comb his hair. Instead, his first action of the day was to get numb on ice cream. He found himself driving to Ralph’s, a place he usually avoids like the plague, and stocking up on pints of Ben & Jerry’s and then back home without even blinking. He had plopped down in front of his television, popped in Mahogany, and spoon-fed himself makeshift therapy. Nothing gets a good numb going like a pint of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream.

Now with his ice cream high and a beat Diana Ross smiling wide and wearing high fashion clothes, gorgeous wigs, and twirling happily on his television screen, the last thing he wants is to deal with whoever is buzzing the hell out of his bell.

BUZZ! Whoever it was wasn’t giving up, either.


After five minutes of non-stop buzzing, Ricky finally turns the television off and hefts himself up from the couch. “All right! All right!” he shouts, padding his way to the intercom. He presses the black button and asks, “What?”

“Ricky, it’s Noah.”

Ricky quickly pulls his finger away. “Fuck,” he says, pressing his head against the wall. He raises his hand to buzz him in, but drops it quickly. BUZZ! “Fuck!” He swallows hard, exhales, and buzzes Noah in.

Noah finds the door to Ricky’s apartment half open. He knocks tentatively. “Ricky?” he says, peeking in first.

“Come in,” says Ricky, sitting on the edge of his sofa.
Noah closes the door behind him. “I-I-came here to see how you were doing.” He scrunches his face at the strewn cartons of ice cream and the devoured pan of peach cobbler lying on the floor. “Uh…how are you doing?”

Ricky rests his elbows on his knees. “I’m not sure, Noah.” His tone is half pissed and half about-to-break-down. “And to what do I owe the pleasure for this princely visit?”

Noah pulls his knit scarf from around his neck and drapes it across a chair. “Look, I know you’re mad at me, Ricky, but-”

“Mad?” Ricky laughs. “Poor little innocent Noah. Who could ever be mad at you? Impossible.”

“Ricky,” Noah says, walking over to the sofa, almost tripping over a pint of Cherry Garcia. “Don’t be this way,” he says softly. “Let’s not make this harder than it needs to be,” he says, sitting down on the sofa. He reaches out and grabs Ricky’s left hand.

Ricky snatches his hand away. “Here we go,” he says, turning to face Noah. “You’re just an innocent bystander, right? Fault just falls off you; it’s everyone else’s fault that shit is the way it is. You start things, Noah, and when you can’t handle it, you run in the other direction. Then everyone runs and tries to make it right, but you do nothing. This is classic you. You come here with your soft voice and puppy dog face and everything is back to normal. Well, it’s not. It doesn’t work like that.”

“Wait, Ricky. I can’t help that you wanted more from me. You know I love Wade.”

“You deserve each other.”

Noah stands up. “I came here because I care about our friendship, Ricky!”

“Sit down,” says Ricky.

“No, I think you need to cool off before we both say something unnecessary.”

Ricky grabs Noah’s wrist and pulls him back down on the sofa. “You’re going to listen to me for once. Problems don’t go away because you’ve asked them nicely to. Take some responsibility for once in your life, Noah. I’ve been sitting here thinking about how one-sided our friendship has been.”

“One-sided? I don-”

“Listen to me!”

Ricky's tone startles Noah, and he jumps back. He takes a calm breath, closes his eyes and says, “Okay, Ricky, I’m listening.”

Tears brim in Ricky’s eyes. “I have been here for you, always. I’ve always tried to protect you; made sure you were treated right. And yes, I was jealous of Wade for taking your heart.” He wipes his eyes on his robe sleeve. “You know, Noah, almost every night, I went to bed telling myself I will be strong enough to tell you how I felt about you. Instead, I lived on our friendship. It was all a series of distractions. Junito, the drummer, Brandon; all those men were nothing but distractions. After the wedding, I gave myself a month to get over you. A month turned into two months, and then that into a year. Then…then you opened a door. And…and then you treated me like one of the many men not worthy of you in your twisted little mind. Now here I am, Noah, with nothing.”

Noah scoots closer to his friend. “Ricky, you’re just feeling sorry for yourself. “

“All the men you’ve hurt, and all the times I’ve witnessed how you operate, and still, I let it happen to me.”

“Ricky, I’m sorry that I lead you to believe we could be more than friends. I’m so sorry. I was stupid and hurting. I was vulnerable. But you said yourself that if anything happened between us it would be the biggest mistake of our lives. I believe that, Ricky.”

“I guess I’m supposed to feel better after hearing that, right?”

“You talk about me taking responsibility, but you have to take responsibility, too. We both fucked up.” Ricky shakes his head. “We’re all just trying to figure this shit out, Ricky.”

“You’re right, Noah. I have to take responsibility…for my happiness.”


Ricky stares into his Noah’s face for a long time and then grabs his hands. “This is the hardest thing I have ever done, Noah.” Ricky’s closes his eyes tight. “Noah, I-I.” The tears finally fall. “I want you out of my life.”

Noah stops breathing. His face glows red and he starts shaking. Snatching his hand free of Ricky’s grip, he says, “I can’t believe you just said that to me.”

“Believe it.”

Noah jumps up from the sofa and grabs his scarf from the chair. “I can’t believe you’re going to throw away our friendship just because you can’t get past this…this thing you feel for me.” He sloppily wraps his scarf around his neck. “You promised me that you would get past this, Ricky!”

“That was before you literally tried to fuck me. Did you forget that? Of course you did,” Ricky says, leaning back into the sofa.

Noah yanks open Ricky’s front door. “You promised me, Ricky. You want me out of your life? Fine. I’ll get out of your life.” He slams the door behind him.

Ricky folds his arms across his chest. “Thank you!” he yells after Noah.

Itchy Itchy Bang Bang
“I’ll get it, honey,” says Chance, racing to the telephone. “Hello,” he answers, out of breath. He checks the caller ID. “I told you not to call here at this time. I don’t care if you called privately,” he whispers into the receiver. He quickly deletes the call from the device

“Who is it, honey?” calls Eddie, from the dining room.

Chance jumps. “Uh…uh, it’s the wrong number.”


“Listen,” says Chance, gripping the telephone hard, “don’t call again. No, I have not changed my mind, but if you call again, I just might. Yes, I have booked everything. Yes! Look, I have to go before Eddie gets suspicious. Stop saying that! You do not, so stop saying that. Bye!” He slams the receiver down.

Eddies comes into the living room. “Why are you always getting the wrong number calls?” he asks, sliding his arms around Chance’s waist.

Chance pecks him on the cheek and wiggles free. “I guess I’m lucky.” He clears his throat and straightens his shirt. “Um, let me clear the table now. I’ve got a lot of packing to do.”

“I wish you wouldn’t go. What am I supposed to do for two weeks by myself?”

“Eddie,” Chance says, sliding around his husband, “we have discussed this. It’s just something I need to do. It’s nothing against you.”

Eddie flops down on the sofa. “I know. Still, I’m going to be without my husband for two weeks.”

“Eddie, I wish you wouldn’t sulk like this.”

“Chance, are you sure we’re, you know, okay?”

Chance, on his way to the dining room, stops in his tracks. “Yes, Eddie,” he says, sighing. “Again, my going to Paris has nothing to do with our relationship.” He doesn’t turn around. Even a blind man could read his face. “So let me clear the table, okay?”


That Good Lovin’
Alex had set the alarm to ring at seven a.m. on Saturday morning. He wanted, no needed, to be up bright and early to get ready for the award ceremony. The night before, after dropping Oje off at the sitter's for the weekend, Trey tried to come up with a million reasons to get away from Alex until the ceremony. Unless he attempted suicide, nothing was good enough for him not to be at home,“helping.” Helping usually meant being yelled at for not setting up the ironing board so that the pointed side faces an open space or not choosing the right tie or taking a too long or too short shower. Nervous Alex is a nightmare to be around. But this was a big moment for Alex and, as his husband, he had to be there for him. He would just have to take it. He hated taking it, but it was nothing new. Still, he dreaded that alarm clock.

Surely enough at 7:00 a.m. the alarm clock goes off, and Alex jumps straight out of bed. “Oh, my lord! It’s morning. TREY! Help me get ready. Jesus, I got too much to do. Trey, help me, dammit!”

“Baby,” Trey says, throwing the covers aside, “I’m getting up now. Calm down.”

Alex paces the room. “You go pick up the tuxes. Oh, god I hope the measurements are still right. I shouldn’t have ate that damn cake last night. Trey, why did you let me eat that damn cake! It’s your fault if I can’t fit into my tux.”

Trey wipes sleep from his eyes. “C’mon now, baby.”

“You ate some, too. You better hope your tux fit.” Alex cranes his neck around and stares at his behind. “Look at my ass! There’s no way I’m going to fit in that tux. Look at it, Trey, it’s growing.”

An uncontrollable fit of laughter takes over Trey.

“What are you laughing at, fool? This ain’t funny.” Alex squeezes a chunk of flesh on his behind. “Lord!” He starts pacing again.

“I’m laughing at you.” Trey gets up and stops Alex from pacing. “Your ass is not growing. You will, we will fit into our tuxedos. Now calm down. Come on, baby, sit down.” Trey sits Alex down on the bed.

“But Trey, I-”

Trey shushes Alex by placing a finger on his lips. He leans down in front of him, pulls his thighs apart and slides in between them. He lightly kisses Alex’s neck, and then gently sucks on his earlobe. “Wait a minute, now,” says Alex, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, “you know that’s my spot. Don’t be starting nothing up in here, boy.”

Trey pushes Alex back on the bed. “Oh,” Trey says, pulling down his boxer briefs, “it’s already started.”

Alex rolls off Trey, breathing hard. When he catches his breath, he looks at his husband and says, “What’s today?”

The Award Goes to Mr. Kirby-Iverson
The long black limo waits outside Trey and Alex’s house. Alex checks his watch. “Trey, it’s 6:15, come on out that bathroom,” says Alex. He peeks out the curtain and sees the limo. “Breath, Alex, Breath,” he says quietly to himself. “The limo is here. You know we’ve got to swing by and pick up Noah and ‘nem,” he yells upstairs.

“Babe,” says Trey coming down the stairs, smoothing the arm of his tuxedo jacket, “you got your speech?”

Alex turns around and his mouth drops. “Damn, Trey,” he says.

“What, baby? Don’t tell me I’ve got shaving cream on my face.” Trey starts back upstairs.

“No, you look good. Too good.”

Trey smiles and does a little twirl. “You know I clean up, baby.”

“Uhm-hmm, I just hope I don’t have to cut a bitch tonight. Don’t leave my side tonight, you hear me? Uhm-hmm.”

“Stop that,” Trey says, walking over and smoothing the lapels of Alex’s tuxedo jacket. “You don’t have anything to worry about. I’m all yours. Where’s your speech?”

Alex pats his pocket. “I have it. I’m so nervous.”

Trey turns him around and smoothes the back of Alex’s jacket. “Do I need to take care of that again,” he says, jokingly.

“Boy!” Alex laughs.

“You know you’re a pain during big events.”

“I know, Trey.”

“But you’re the only pain in the ass I love, okay?” Alex shakes his head. “Besides, I got something for that now.” They kiss. “Okay, now let’s get out of here.” Trey holds his husband hand and they walk out the door together.

“I can’t believe Ricky would do this,” says Alex, folding his arms across his chest.

“You’ll mess up your tux, Alex,” says Noah, unfolding Alex's arms. “Don’t worry about Ricky. Remember, this is your night, Alex.”

“I wanted all my friends here, Noah. I just can’t believe he would do this to me. I told him the limo would be around at 7:15. This is typical Ricky.”

Chance and Eddie return from the bathroom. “Are we being seated yet?” asks Chance. He scans the hallway. “I thought Junito would be here.”

“He called, he’s at LAX. He’s on his way with his husband,” says Trey.

“Don’t we all look so spiffy?” asks Noah. Alex rolls his eyes at him. “What? I told you I wasn’t conforming.”

“A leather tuxedo, Noah?” Chance says. “Really?”

“Faux leather!” says Noah.

“I tried to get him to wear something else,” Wade chimes in, “but it was between this or the gold track suit with pearls.”

Noah smiles. “I told him if he didn’t straighten his hair, then I would wear it.”

Wade swings his freshly straightened hair. “Compromise,” he says, “the foundation strong relationships are built on.” Noah kisses him on the cheek.

“Oh, they’re seating us now,” says Eddie, pointing to the usher waving his hand at them.

Chance looks around the hallway again. “Uh..is Brandon coming, too?” he asks Alex quietly.

“To the after party,” Alex replies. “Why?”

Chance smiles. “Oh, nothing, just wondering.”

Alex feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around and standing there is Junito and his husband Travis. “You made it!” Alex says, hugging them both.

“Hey, man, I wouldn’t miss this for the world. There’s no man more deserving of an award than you, Alex.”

“I couldn’t have done half of it without you, Junito.” They hug again. “Now, y’all sit down.” Alex points to three empty chairs.

Junito makes his way around the table, introducing his husband to everyone. “Who’s the third chair for?” he asks.

“Don’t ask,” Alex says, sitting back down.

“And now,” a tall thin handsome brother announces on the microphone, “is the award for Urban Activist of the Year. This man we are honoring tonight had one dream, and that dream was that gay men of color would have access to the same resources as their white counterparts when it came to HIV testing, education, and counseling. With its free testing program, the Black AIDS Institute has tested over 10,000 people over a four-year period. Through the Black AIDS Institute, many lives have been saved and tragedy spared by alerting men to their status. He organized the highly successful Know Your Status campaign at Black Pride. Last year, The Black AIDS Institute received one of the largest grants for AIDS education and prevention in California history. It’s no secret, folks, we need more people like this man in our corner—fighting for what is only fair. AIDS has ravaged our communities, and this man we are so proud to honor tonight is doing everything in his power to stop the bleeding. We thank you for everything you have done and continue to do. Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to award the Urban Activist of the Year award to Mr. Alex Kirby-Iverson of the Black AIDS Institute!”

Alex reaches in his pant’s pocket and grabs the tissue he put there for this occasion. He wipes his eyes as the theater explodes in applause. He walks up the stairs and accepts the award from the tall thin brother. “Thank you, thank you all so much,” he says in the mic. “Thank you.” The applause dies down. He reaches in his pocket for his speech but finds it empty. “My speech,” he says. Trey does a quick dash to the foot of the stage and hands the speech that had fallen to the floor when Alex had retrieved his tissue. He smiles at the audience and runs back to his seat. “That’s my husband, y’all,” Alex says, laughing. “Hands off, please! I don’t want to have to go to jail on the night of receiving my award, okay?” The audience laughs. He clears his throat and flattens the paper against the podium. “First,” he begins, “I want to thank the Urban AIDS Awareness Foundation for recognizing the Black AIDS Institute and all the work we do to fight the progression of this disease, and our efforts to educate and stress that gay men, especially gay men of color, must know their status. Thank you guys so much for this honor. But I did not do this alone. My family and friends helped me tremendously. Without their help, none of this would have been possible. “

Alex looks out into the audience at Trey. “Trey, we have been together eleven years.” The audience once again explodes in applause, scattered with a few whistles. “Let me tell y’all: there is no other man on God’s green earth made more for me than my husband. He has been my rock, my faith, my motivation. He has given me the world and the stars to go with it. He is a wonderful husband and an even better father to our son, Oje. I thank you, Trey for everything you have done for our clinic and for me. I love you.” More applause.

Trey never cries. But tonight he can’t help it. Noah, also tearing up, hands him a Kleenex. Wade pats Trey on the back.

“Dr. Junito Vargas is the Black AIDS Institute. He volunteered his time, supplies, and his fabulous record keeping. He kept me focused, and he kept my spirits up when we went through the Dreaded Days, where everyone that came in tested positive. This award is just as much yours as it’s mine, Dr.Vargas. Thank you.” Junito blows Alex a kiss.

“And I want to thank my friends. Without their support, encouragement, and volunteering, the Black AIDS Institute would never have been. Please stand up, y’all.”

Noah, Chance, Eddie and Wade stand. The audience applauds them.

“Um,” Alex says, “those guys have been with me through hell and back. To know them is to love them. They are Noah Nicholson-Robinson, Chance Counter-McIntyre, Wade Nicholson-Robinson and Eddie Counter-McIntyre. There is one other person, but…” Alex looks up from his speech for a moment. His eyes scan the audience with hope, but falls back to the paper disappointed. He sighs. “But he couldn’t be-” Just then someone in the back of the theater loudly clears his throat. The audience turns in the direction of the sound. Standing at the back of the theater, applauding, is Ricky. Alex’s face lights up.

Alex wipes away the tears forming in his eyes. “Ricky Davis,” he says. “I would also like to thank my friend Ricky Davis.” Ricky mouths congratulations to Alex. Alex nods. “Whew,” he says, “got me crying up here.” He composes himself and continues. “I’m going to end my speech by saying fight on! Let us not be beaten or devastated by this disease. Let us continue to kick its ass by staying informed, knowing our status, and doing our part to make sure this disease takes as few lives as possible. Fight on! Stay aware. Stay alive. Thank you.” Thunderous applause fills the theater. Alex motions for his friends to join him on the stage.
They file onto the stage, hugging and laughing. Alex looks at the back of the theater for Ricky, but Ricky is gone.

The after party is at the Black Knight, a club in WeHo run by a friend of Trey’s. The guys meet up with Brandon and his new boyfriend—a gangly white boy with surfer blond hair and more acne than a Proactiv commercial. “Congrats, Alex,” says Brandon. “I’m so proud of you.” Brandon pulls Bryan’s arm and thrust him out front. “This is my boyfriend, Bryan,” he says, smiling big and wide. A flurry of nice-to-meet-yous and hand shaking ensues.

“Wow, Brandon,” says Noah, “I’m glad you’ve met someone.”

“Yeah, someone in your age bracket,” Eddie says, narrowing his eyes.

“Eddie!” Chance shouts, shoving Eddie in the arm.

“What?” Eddie replies, smirking.

“Don’t worry about it, Chance,” says Brandon, squeezing Bryan’s hand. “We’re very happy, right honey?”

Bryan shrugs. “Yeah,” he replies, his tone flat.

“Let’s get our dance on,” says Alex. “The more I stand around here lollygagging, the more I think of Ricky.”

Wade sighs and rolls his eyes and blows a puff of air out the side of his mouth. “Stop,” says Noah, lightly tapping Wade’s arm. “And Alex, if Ricky wants to be selfish, then that’s on him. This is your night,” says Noah.

Trey hands Alex a shot of Patron. “Baby, Noah is right. And this is your song playing.”

“Yeah, go in, bitch; let have!” Noah shouts.

Chance looks out the corner of his eye and sees Brandon standing by the bathroom hallway trying to catch his attention. He swallows the rest of wine, and says, “Eddie, I’m going to the bathroom.”

Eddie puts his drink down. “I’ll go with you, honey.”

“Uh, no, no. You stay here and enjoy…” Chance looks at the dance floor and sees Alex has started a Soul Train line and he, Noah, and Brandy are booty bumping while Alex waves his award in the air. “Soul Train. I won’t be long.”

“Okay, honey.”

Chance walks right past Brandon without looking at him. A minute later Brandon follows. “I thought we’d never get a chance alone,” Brandon says pushing open the bathroom door.

“Shh!” says Chance, pulling him into a stall. “Now kiss me.” Chance throws Brandon against the wall and they suck face like two wild teenagers. They pull themselves apart after a few minutes. “Who’s this Bryan?” asks Chance.

“Just some meth addict I paid $20 to play my boyfriend.”

“Clever, but eww.” They kiss passionately again. “Are you packed?” Chance asks.


“Remember, do not even leave the house until you get my phone call.”

“Oh, this is so…so…”


“Yeah, that’s the word.”

The bathroom door swings open, and Brandon, without thinking, hops on the toilet and fold his legs close to his body. Chance peeks through the crack in the stall door. “It’s just some guy using the urinal,” he whispers to Brandon. “Wait, stay there. He’s washing his hands. He’s gone now.”

“I like the view from back here,” says Brandon, reaching out and pinching Chance’s ass.

Chance smacks his hand away. “What’s your story?”

Brandon looks puzzled for a moment. “Story? Oh! A family death out of state.”

“Family death?”

“Yeah. Not good? Too clich├ęd?”

“You’re going to be gone for two weeks to a funeral? Oh, God, we haven’t thought this through,” Chance says, holding his forehead in his hands.

Brandon kisses Chance again. “Stop worrying. I can’t wait to spend two glorious weeks with the man I love.”

Chance pushes Brandon away. “Stop saying that word.”

“Soon enough you’ll believe me, Professor Counter.” Kiss. “Soon enough.”

After the limo had dropped off everyone, Alex got it in his head that he and Trey should have sex in the back of the limo. It took Trey twenty minutes to convince Alex that having sex in the back of the limo was not a good idea. “When did you become a prude?” Alex asks.

“Prude? Oh, I’m going to show you my prudish ways when we in this house,” Trey replies. He snakes his arms around Alex’s waist and walks him up the front stairs. In a bodice ripping moment, Trey throws Alex against the door and kisses him. An envelope taped to the door falls to the ground. “What’s that?” asks Trey.

Alex bends down and picks up the envelope. “It’s a letter, he says, opening it. He quickly scans over it under the porch light. “It’s from Ricky.”

Do You Know Where You’re Going To?

Do You Know Where You’re Going To?
“Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you
Where are you going to?
Do you know...?

Do you get
What you're hoping for
When you look behind you
There's no open doors
What are you hoping for?
Do you know...?

Dear Alex, Chance, and Noah,

Yes, I am a coward because I couldn’t tell you guys to your faces that I am leaving. Don’t ask where because even I don’t know. I just know that I have to go. I can’t really explain it. It’s no one’s fault but my own. I have put my store up for sale and my apartment. I guess you can say I’m starting over again. I have a lot of growing to do.

Alex, I’m so proud of you and though I don’t say it often enough, I love you.

Chance, enjoy your time in Paris. I love you, too.

Noah, I’m sorry.

Don’t look for me, because I don’t even know where I will be.


He did not pack much. He is driving until his heart says stop. Maybe he would return. Maybe he couldn’t return. Nothing is clear to him except the need to go away. In his red Audi, Ricky Davis heads east, leaving L.A. behind him, and with it, the old Ricky.

“Once we were standing still in time
Chasing the fantasies
That filled our minds
You knew how I loved you
But my spirit was free
Laughin' at the questions
That you once asked of me

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you
Where are you going to?
Do you know...?

Now looking back at all we've planned
We let so many dreams
Just slip through our hands
Why must we wait so long
Before we'll see
How sad the answers
To those questions can be

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you
Where are you going to?
Do you know...?

Do you get
What you're hoping for
When you look behind you
There's no open doors
What are you hoping for?
Do you know...?”


Anonymous said...

OMG...total cliffhanger!

What did Eddie see?

I can see Wade's hair!!!

Poor Ricky...oh my!

Drinking margaritas ...must re-read when sober...but the buzzinh me...is LOVING IT...THANK YOU NAFF:)

Renee said...


Do you even have to ask, of course we'll have you, but you're killing us man by posting so late. We love it and we would love to have more.

Noah with a leather tux, Really
I'm glad to see that is was Faux leather because we all know how he hate wearing animals.

I'm still praying for my boy Ricky, I hope he runs into me now that he has left LA, hahaha
maybe I can turn him straight, hahaha again.

I knew that Chance was going to Paris with Brandon, but seen what Noah and Wade went threw should that ring a bell.
- you didn't just slip an accidentally cheated, you plotted and plan your infidelity, and you know what suck about this whole thing ---

I enjoy the episode Naff, I guessing Brandy was babysitting baby OJ and Kenya. Alex is a damn fool, great Speech, by the way when did they get married, well I guess after 11 year thats consider Common-law Marriage and when did chance change his name to McIntyre. Diana Ross great add in.

Daniealle said...

You have to do a season 4! It's a must.

Anonymous said...

NAFF...hung on every syllable...TERRIFIC job...Noah got on my nerves pretty badly here...in Noah's world...he REALLY was trying to make things right with Ricky...but Ricky had Noah down to the "T"

Diana song...perfect fit! NAFF this IS amazing...

Ricky...has turned his life inside & out...what WILL happen to his tortured love-sick spirit? Are there used tricks all over West L.A. saying ...KARMA is a B****!

Is it too early to begin baby beg plead...Temptations style! :)

Season 4 perhaps?

NAFF said...

Renee, I took a few artistic liberties with the hyphenated names. I mainly used them to spotlight Ricky's lack of one.

I slid Brandy in there in the Soul Train line.

Regarding Chance: I've always felt Chance did not like the domestic side of his marriage to Eddie, and that he hated being thought of as "the wife." That's why I had him cooking and cleaning in the episodes, to show him imbued in domesticity, something he hates.

Renee said...


Just re-read the episode and I did notice that, I need to stop reading so late. You're right, the idea of being around a bunch of married folks is freaking him out. That's my boo and I'll always have his back, hahahaha.
I taught Chance love to cook for Eddie especially since Eddie looks so amazing by candlelight, oh I just remember that Eddie prefer homo thugs to desperate house fags, but you know what, you're right again, when has Eddie ever cook for Chance. The only thing that I can recall is him buying cheesecake for the gang as a thank you for helping with the move but that was a long time ago. What is so great about him anyways. What is the magical, special, wonderful, amazing thing that he's got.
I really enjoy reading your blog and don't stop what you're doing, season 4 fo sho

Anonymous said...

Renee...I guess we're all the last of the true romantics...so Ricky had to leave now...so he would have a chance of getting over it...

NAFF ... you did such an awesome job...adding details in the season finale (& all episodes) that we could so easily see...

For example, I could just visualize Wade's hair ...just like the NAACP awards show....

NAFF there is a charismatic touch to your writing...just love IT...can't wait for MORE:)

NAF4L said...

What I remember was Chance saying that 4 him the life of the mind has always come 1st n he can't b happy if it doesn't, n that he will never love anybody as much as he does Eddie, that he does not want a life with anyone but Eddie n that he will give him all the love he have to give another human being.

Well, well, well Chance... What happen to your Vow, 2 make what u have an adventure, 2 say yes 2 everything remarkable n amazing, 2 be always rebuild the temple.

Did somebody say Karma..

And by the way do you think the answer will be yes...

BRIANNA said...

I said it before and I'll say it again,

Guess who told who to straighten out their hair,
"Compromise", Yeah right- WHIPPED
Dat Whatz up Noah

Naff you have to do a season four, well you let us know.

Anonymous said...

What is Noah's WHIP APPEAL?

Fierce style?

Ok- kissable LIPS!!!??

Whatever it is...NAFF had it down for eight episodes!!!

NAFF looking forward to whatever is next...

I loved this last episode...it gave some insight into Trey's love for Alex...it was so sweet...

& of course...left us hanging on Chance/Eddie...and poor Ricky...

Noah & Wade seemed solid again...for now...what do you have in store for their love story?

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this! It's too fabulous for words. Please come back for a fourth season

Anonymous said...

To my Noah's Arc Angel...just reread the last episode...wonderful class act yet again! Can't wait for the edits and/or behind the scenes insights...the director's cut right? LOL!

Looking forward to season 4...I'm worried about Ricky- at least gas prices have gone down:)! & Chance...will Brandon get tired of a too tipsy Chance on their international itinerary?? & there's just got to be drama for Woah...will it be Dre? Will it be jealously over careers again? Or some NEW drama?

Either way...I can't wait to see what your creative mind produces :)

Anonymous said...

I chose Delicate on NAFFs latest poll...because...I have a soft spot for Ricky...and the last word of that episode...made me HOLLA...that week went by so slowly to find out what HAPPENED next! :)

Almost chose Nothing Can Come Between Us...but ONLY because of WADE...think about Noah...he has only had his heart broken...because HE cheated...nobody has cheated on HIM...nobody has ever been undeservedly HURTFUL to him in a realtionship...or unexpectedly (NO warning!!!) being DUMPED...(Malik?/ Quincy?) he's ONLY been idolized...and cherished completly by the men in his life...& again he has all of Wade's love in NCCBU...& what does NOAH say..."Make love to ME!?"

The only thing that would have swayed my mind...is a hot reunited and it feels so good love scene at the end of NCCBU episode... lol:) Maybe in the edits NAFF????;)

NAF4L said...

NCCBU great episode but 3/3 got my vote B2L just because that episode is HOT!

Anonymous said...

I'm glad I waited to the end of the season to comment. I have thoroughly enjoyed this season. Your writing style is awesome and I feel like I'm right there in the midst of it all. Please continue to write upcoming seasons, because you got an avid reader waiting. Keep up the good work, must success to you in the future.

Anonymous said...

Avid reader...what's your favorite NAFF episode? Brianna??

I can tell that all of we commenters...have had our favs...

What's yours & why??

Any episode that Ricky was love sick over Noah really got to me...I believe Ricky would give up trade for Noah!

Ok- so Delicate for me...

BRIANNA said...

Do you even have to ask....

NCCBU of course, I said this before and I'll say it again
Wade is a good man and all Noah has to do is... say the word and guess who's going to follow.

Classic Noah, always waiting for someone to tell him what to do, couldn't he see for himself. Wade is always fighting someone over him. Malik, (Baby Gat and Quincy) if you know what I mean, and now Ricky.

I believe that Ricky can give up trade, he's getting older, but I'm still not convince that Noah is the ONE... just think about it, when he had the opportunity to pursue a relationship with Noah...
Why didn't he, Why did he had to wait until Noah and Wade hook back up to confess his Love.

I can go into detail about why I feel this way but it's going to take me all night, maybe another time, who knows we'll see. Naff.. I already know what you're going to say and the power is in your hands now.

Delicate is sweet but I'm not which episode is going to get my vote.

Anonymous said...

True that about Ricky's previous opportunities with Noah...made me said hmmm....

NAFF...I was thinking...when you edit...will add to scenes??

Maybe Ricky could reflect on what Brianna stated?? Ricky laments over missed opportunities?

Maybe when Trey & Wade are at the gym...Wade could give more details about Dre & him???

More steamy scenes between any of the couples??

I miss NAFF:)

WadeLovesNoah said...


thanks for all the hard work and dedication in keeping us junkies supplied with our favorite drug. I hope you come back and do a season 4. I would also like to know if you will be posting the original ending since you mentioned that you re-wrote based on the feedback in the comments. I would like to see it.

Miss my Friday morning fix. :-)

Anonymous said...

You have to a season 4! No If's And's About It!

Anonymous said...

I LOVE YOU! Please keep it coming! I miss the show and
NA-JTB was a great but such a tease! I am jones-ing for my favorite men!

I found you while searching for Greg's fotos to show to my sister. I am so happy that I found you! You are AMAZIING!

I have your site bookmarked and I will keep coming back to see if you are sharing more of your beautiful talent! Thank you!


PS: More Alex and Trey, Please!

Anonymous said...

I can't wait for more!!!!

Anonymous said...

Ricky does need some soul searching
and we want more, so please continue with a season 4, and that brandon is going to be sinking the ARC, when Ricky is gone

Anonymous said...

This is like when Toni left Girlfriends.

Anonymous said...

Just finished reading ALL of season 3...WOW!!!! I am so hooked it's not even funny! Ricky, where you goin', gir??? Chance, is you crazy??? Wade...wow, you TRULY love your husband, Noah, huh? Noah...please stop making it all about YOU and love your husband back the way he SHOULD be loved!!! Alex and Trey...keep doin' what you're doin'!!!

I can't believe I "stumbled" across this yesterday, went to bed "dreaming" about your first episode last night and couldn't wait to finish reading season 3 today. NAFF, you are THE BEST!!! I can't get enough of NA, it's been like a drug for me (LOL). I wasn't "hipped" to NA/JTB until earlier this year when, by chance, I caught rerun episodes of season 2on LOGO and even then, they only showed up to where Noah was gaybashed. Once I realized they weren't showing anything else, I IMMEDIATELY went online and bought both the series and the movie from Amazon. I've watched and re-watched everything over and over again but yet still always felt like there HAD to be MORE for this group of men. Then I came across your writing...AHHHH!!!

I can picture everything as I read it and how you've written everyone is so IN CHARACTER. I'm glad Patrik has read your works, he should be proud. Now if only he could convince LOGO to bring NA back on screen again...LOGO was DUMB to drop the series in the first place. NOTHING they have on there now compares to NA...NOTHING!!!

Anyway, thanks to you NAFF, I will be "tuning in" to your episodes, re-reading everything until Season 4 comes out!!!! Again, THANK YOU!!!

Anonymous said...

is there still going to be a season 4?

Tye said...

I absolutely love what you have written! I was waiting for baby gat to pop out of no where lol. Keep up the good work!

honestjane843 said...

After soaking up every line of this simply marvelous rendition of one of my all time favorite shows, and having indulged in some other disappointing NAFF, I have just got to give it up to you. The way you masterfully navigated through the various plots was comparable to being on the most exhilirating, yet at times frightening, literary rollercoaster ride in imagination. I encourage you to keep doing what you're doing, because you do it so well. Although there's nothing like seeing the actors bring words on paper to life in film, this is a suitable substitute for the void left after Jumping the Broom that all true blue Noah's Arc fans are experiencing. Honestjane843@aol.com

Anonymous said...

This was brillantly written! I could visualize every scene and diagloque so very cleary! Awaiting for more!

Anonymous said...

I loved this so much..... I'm an avid moans arc fan. Can't wait for more.

this website said...

Excellent article. Cool. Looking towards reading more. Fantastic article.


Thanks for sharing in detail.